Similar Paced Spirits

I used that phrase to describe someone else’s situation and articulating it gave me an awareness for the first time of what I know to be true:  While “opposites attract” is a lovely notion, too often we think that opposite qualities can be complementary when in fact they can also be a source of conflict at times.  A friend turned me on to The 5 Love Languages* and I have noticed since having it put into conscious awareness how often that comes into play.  I think it behooves us to know ourselves well enough to know what love language is the predominant way we express ourselves and to try to find someone who is of a like mind and not in fact the opposite.  We often look in another for similar values, religion/spirituality, goals, interests but what about this that I pose – how you express yourself in love (and I’m not talkin the horizontal mambo kind tho of course compatibility there is yummm bonus).  It goes beyond Type A/Type B personality oversimplification and leans more toward pace literally pace – are you a night owl or a morning bird; do you go at a leisurely pace to get things done or whirlwind through and multi-task along the way; are you a hands off or hands on kind of person; do you like to check in throughout the day to know what’s going on and to reassure someone that you’re there for each other or do you prefer “out of sight out of mind” so you can just do your own thing?  I would hope that a balance of all these archetypes in the 5 love languages is the ideal but I have noticed having different people dance in and out of my life (and my heart) how much I think it is that very incompatibility more than some of the others that becomes a relationship’s downfall and creates longing and a lack of fulfillment.  When you find someone who’s a similar paced spirit is when I think those 3 cherries come up in the jackpot o’ life!  I look forward to slinking up to the one armed bandit, pulling down and hitting the jackpot!